non-update update

There are about a million posts that need to be written and placed here, but there is no time right now.

I am right in the middle of my second year of graduate school, and I am writing no less than three papers about St. Catherine's Indian School this semester.

In fact, I have a special fellowship from the NM State Historian's Office to research the school in state archives. One or a combination of these papers will become a presentation I give at the State Historical Society's annual meeting next May.

If possible, I will also present at other conferences.

There is so much about the research, now including interviews with former students and teachers, that I want to share here ... all in good time.

All that to say, as I sit here reading about Saint Katharine Drexel and the work she accomplished, I am crying.

When I finished reading the dissertation written about St. Catherine's by a former teacher, I cried then too.

Of course, this is emotion laden for me for so many reasons. Principally, my grandmother's connection and the way that history has linked me to this school and Drexel's mission in ways that I could never have imagined. I can't help but feel a strong connection to my grandmother with every page I read as far away from her experience as all that I read may be. I also can't help that it was my grandmother that led me to this work.

Even though she would not tell me about her time at St. Catherine's there was something that she wanted me to know about it. I guess it is possible that somehow she wouldn't tell me so that I would have the desire to do this research now. Who knows? The tears are rolling, again, maybe it is the lack of sleep.

As a non-practicing Catholic, I started learning about Drexel with a mixture of cynicism and trepidation. I find her faith inspiring even if I don't necessarily share her sentiments about the Catholic church. There is something about her belief in God, Jesus and mercy, and, especially about the action it spurred in her that has me in tears just now. It hasn't gotten me back into the church, but I did spend some money in the Sisters of the Blessed Sacrament gift shop (online). It might not be a lot, but I can see how important it is to support the kind of work she envisioned.

I am not saying that she is perfect, sainted or not. She was a product of her time in many, many ways, but she was also a visionary. There is something beautifully imperfect about that. It's like real life, messy and complicated, and totally worth it.

I guess I turned to this forum because it doesn't seem at all appropriate to write it in any of the three papers, though, I am wondering how I get through an academic presentation without bursting into tears... I will definitely have to practice.

I will post some links to some interesting stuff I have found that is available online...

For now, I just want to share Sr. Monica Loughlin's description of Katharine Drexel:
"At a time when women did not have an active voice in society she was not only courageous but also fearless in working for justice. She raised the consciousness of the church and nation. Hers was never a strident voice but she was assertive, respectful and compelling in her arguments. She called her church and her nation to be true to the gospel and to the Bill of Rights. Hers was a voice that could not be stilled."
find the entire remarks given at Xavier University (another institution founded by Drexel) at the October 2007 New Board of Trustees Members Orientation Meeting.