For a class -- I had to make a movie -- I chose to use my grandmother's story -- some of my story in search of her history -- and the pictures I got to take when I peeked inside the main building.
If I figure out how to link the video, I will post it...
Here is the text:
Grandma and the Lost Boys
New Mexico Villages and Cultural
Landscape
Digital Story Narrative
May 1, 2012
My
father decided I should be the family historian when I was ten. He told me to talk to his mother,
Enriqueta (Varela) Cabrera, to find out about her time at an Indian School in
Santa Fe, NM. We called her
Grandma Camarillo, but everyone else called her Katie. At 10, Grandma Camarillo seemed a
formidable woman: stoic, strict, serious. My mother said about her, "She holds things in." When I asked my grandma about the Indian
school, she said, “I can’t remember.”
Thwarted, I didn't pursue it, and before I knew it, she was gone.
I
took up the search for her history again four years ago. My parents and I embarked on the needle
in a haystack tour. First we spent
a frustrating week digging through death certificates and walking cemeteries in
El Paso, trying to piece together how my grandma, and her siblings, went from
their family home in Juarez to an Indian school in Santa Fe. Her father and mother died within a year
of each other, leaving five orphans with an “aunt” with five of her own. My father always said, "Tía Juanita went to the church and told
the priest she needed help." And the orphans ended up in Santa Fe.
Next,
we pulled into the Santa Fe Indian School - months after the original buildings
were demolished: their remains in piles around the grounds. It felt like a bad
omen – my grandma's story buried under rubble. The people said it was unlikely she had ever been there. Just as I began to feel discouraged, a
woman suggested my grandma might have been at St. Kate’s – another Indian
boarding school up the road.
St.
Kate’s turned out to be St. Catherine Indian School, perched behind two
cemeteries, up a curvy street that turns into a dirt road before you reach the
front gate. The
next morning, we drove up to that gate.
The sign said no parking, but as my father observed, “It doesn’t say no
trespassing” – the unlatched lock seemed to beckon us in. We walked tentatively
up the main road. My mom and I
were drawn to the pictures on the walls, and the sandia plant snaking along the building. Tangles of bushes obscured the landscape as we wandered
aimlessly; then my father exclaimed, “This is it! This is my mom’s
school.” I was skeptical. I saw a bell tower perched atop a three-story
adobe building. “There’s no way that's
original,” I thought.
Some
googling revealed St. Kate's was built in 1887 with money from Katharine Drexel,
an heiress. Who built three story
adobes back then? Or ever? My
father insisted, "This is my mom's school; I saw a picture of her in front
of that building.” My parents went sight seeing, and I
went to the archive. Sifting
through the “vertical file” I read St. Kate's history: the closing in 1998, Drexel's
canonization in 2000, and there it was, that
building … the largest adobe structure in North America, built to Drexel’s
exacting standards.
In
1885, Miss Drexel became an orphan, again, when her father died. Her mother died soon after she was born.
Like my grandma, she and her sister were sent to their tíos. But, she was not your typical orphan:
returned to her father and his new bride, she was raised a socialite. At 27,
she was unmarried and wealthy, and in that sense unprotected; she understood
what it was to be alone in the world.
Miss Drexel became Mother Katharine, founding the Sisters of the Blessed
Sacrament for Indians and Colored People in 1892, dedicating her fortune to
helping those she considered the most needy: Indian and Black children. St. Catherine, her first school, came
to be called St. Kate’s, after her.
I believe they renamed my grandma Katie because they couldn't pronounce
Enriqueta. But, I bet she was one of many orphans also baptized Katie: in the
naming, symbolically claiming these orphans.
One cold February morning last year, I
was allowed into the main building.
Shut up since the closing, it was said to be inhabited only by “vandals”
and pigeons over those ten years. The
workman with the key watched me take pictures of the mural room. Unwilling to go past the hallway, he
looked frightened; so I asked him if he thought the building was haunted. He shrugged, but his eyes told me that
he did. Undeterred, I plunged into
the building. I had two hours and
just my camera’s flash to light my way. I deliberately walked every hall and room, down the corridors
and up the stairs. The thick adobe
walls held ten years of cold. But I was moving too fast to let it catch me. I tried to feel its past
inhabitants. Were there restos of my grandma here? Where had she slept? I climbed all the way to the bell tower
and found cots long forgotten in the eaves.
The
newspapers told of vandals breaking in and trashing the building. But it wasn't vandalism I found,
instead I discovered people had lovingly lived here, as lovingly as possible in
a building with no heat, electricity or running water. They had left the classroom paintings intact. No, they hadn't been vandals… I imagine
them as young boys… the lost boys… boys without a place to go. “You can rest here,” I imagine this
building beckoned. “Take what you
need, what you can.” They accepted
the refuge of this place created for children in need. On their bedroom walls, there were
messages others might call tagging. These boys had claimed this space, used it
as a place to have their say, made it their home. The building had come full circle a sanctuary built by an
orphan for children in need, claimed by boys with no place to go.
It is still heartbreaking to not know
my grandma's story, but I have learned something about this place that took
her in. St. Kate's has a magic
about it and I can imagine her protected there.